Saturday, 25 April 2020

How to survive family lockdown (without killing one another)


Even your dog needs headphones

It's predicted that the divorce rate is set to soar under the pressure of couples being forced to live on top of one another during the lockdown. Close family relationships are also going to be seriously strained.

Here's some tips on how to survive that family lockdown without killing each other because the family that stays together drive each other insane.

Now might not be the time to watch Ravenous

1. Be careful with the movies/tv shows you watch - Try and avoid watching anything related to the apocalypse and cannibalism  and society breaking down. You don't want everyone waking up with nightmares because it'll disturb your sleep and that's the only me time you're currently getting.


2. Get rid of everything that annoys you - I'm talking about the harmonica your son's just discovered and is trying to play very badly. The drill your daughter has decided to use to hang up picture hooks in every bit of space on her bedroom wall. The guitar your partner decides to start learning to play.


Dug holes are useful

Dig a big hole in the garden whilst nobody's looking and toss the unwanted items in the hole and bury.

3. Step away from the board games - In fact, you may consider tossing them in that hole.
This is for several reasons -
*Board games cause arguments and recriminations in households.
*Someone always cheats.
*Someone always gets upset when they lose.
*Someone always crows about winning. 
*Somebody always takes their frustrations out on the board and throws it up on the air with the game pieces all going everywhere.
*Somebody always ends up in tears.

Board games only cause arguments

Don't be swayed by nostalgic remembrances of happy days spent playing board games with your family. If those times were happy you're not remembering them right. Ads that show happy Brady Bunch type families playing board games all smiling and laughing are a trap set up by the toy industry to rake in the cash.


These happy ads hide the truth - during the lockdown if you play board games as a family you will regret it.

4. Buy a pair of noise cancelling headphones - even better, buy a dozen so everyone can have them including your dog. You're going to need them because you'll start to get tired of hearing everybody's voice.

5. Read loads of books.
There's some great deals at the moment - and here comes the shameless plug - my publisher is offering the first book in my Detective in a Coma series, Vile City for just £5 via PayPal. The book usually retails at £8.99 

Click here to see the deal. 

There are lots of other great books on the Caffeine NIghts online store. 

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