Don't Let the Bullies Win - How to Get your confidence back is out now

Out now on Amazon 
Smashwords

Don’t Let the Bullies Win: How to get your confidence, back is aimed at a much neglected group, the adult survivors of bullying, whether that bullying took place at school, in the workplace or in the confines of a relationship.

This book was written by a bully survivor and is part misery memoir/self-help and will aim to do exactly what the title suggests.

The emphasis is firmly on dealing with the aftermath of bullying, whether it’s still going on or happened years ago, and making the bullied person feel more confident using a mixture of chatty advice, humour and fun exercises.

Inside this book there are tips and strategies on:

•           How to stop blaming yourself for what happened

•           How to stop bullying and bullying behaviour from ruining your life and your relationships

•           Learning to like yourself 

•           Standing up for yourself, including how to say no to people

•           Learning to let go of what happened to you

•           Helping yourself to feel better without relying on others

•           Facing up to the bully

Also includes tips on dealing with difficult people.

Note - to keep the cost down so the book can help as many people as possible, Don't Let the Bullies Win is currently only available in eBook form. 

Secrets to getting published - from someone who knows

You can have a love in with your book or send the damn thing out.

Okay, you've written the best book you can. What next?

You could shove it in a drawer, gathering dust, until you’re dead and a relative finds it, gets engrossed in the wonderful words you've created and says, "Wow, great Aunt Matilda or Grandpa Harry could really write."

Or, you could actually send it to a publisher or agent. What have you got to lose - your dignity, self-respect and confidence? But, hey you won't get published without putting your work out there.

So, you will feel defeated if you get a flurry of rejection letters, but what is defeat? It's never trying and never putting yourself in a position to fail.

Repeat after me - Defeat is never trying and never putting yourself in a position to fail.

When it comes to sending out your work, up your odds of success by -

Sticking to the word count. They've asked for the first 2 chapters or first 5, 000 words, don't send 70, 000 words.

Sending it to the right publisher. If a publisher is looking for quality, literary fiction, don't send them erotic fiction or horror. They don't want it.

Yet you'd be amazed how many writers waste their time and the publishers by sending completely unsuitable manuscripts either because 1. They haven't done their research, or, 2. They think their writing is so blindingly brilliant that the publisher won't care that the book's a fictionalised account of a dog's life when the publisher's looking for historical fiction.

Making sure your work is laid out properly. Check out the publisher's guidelines. If it says to use Times or Arial point 12, then do that. Make it double spaced, typed on one side of the paper only with wide margins in case its printed out.

Make sure your work is printed out legibly so it can be easily read. No fading print, toilet roll thin paper or words written in using felt tip pen, because the ink's starting to fade.

Don't get fancy or wacky. No coloured paper, cut into fancy shapes or fancy paper clips. No weird gifts for publishers, like cakes or a chapter written on a piece of toast using jam (the submission was a crime novel).

Come up with one sentence that sums up what your book's about. For How KirstyGets Her Kicks, I had - A one-legged Glasgow barmaid goes on the run with a gangster's cash and gun after she kills one of his henchmen. One publisher said it was the best one line pitch they'd ever read.

Footnote - Sometimes, no matter how good your work is or how well presented, you will still get a "no" or no reply at all. This could be for a number of reasons; none of which you can do anything about.

Stick in there. The difference between a published writer and an unpublished one, is the former never gave up. I know that can be you:)